The truth about my______
Mother
The truth about my mother is that she’s an addict and codependent. She never gave herself a chance to live a good life.
Father
The truth about by father is that he didn’t know what he was doing either. Traumatized, never healed but always looking. Never whole. Will die with regrests and never having ever really shared his gifts & talents with the world. He never even shared then with us, his kids.
My relationship with myself
The truth about my relationship with myself is that it continues to change. My relationship with myself is based on what has been instilled in me by these people. Wow imagine?
My relationship with God
The truth about my relationship with God is that its something that I’m learning to have. I’ve never thought about God in the ways I’m learning, and I’m learning that the more I know myself, the more I understand that God is within me.
My job
The truth about my career is that I’ve used my job as a justification or as a tool to avoid doing focused work on myself. I’m learning that my job needs to be nothing more than a tool to acquire money to be a conduit or way to achieve my goals.
Fuck
I’m over here working.
Finances
The truth about my finances is that they suck and I’m not actively working on any sings goals.
I piss away too much money on shit that wont last nor will it bring me closer to achieving my goals.
My Health
The truth about my health is that I have only begun to reallyprioritize it and I need to do more.
My spouse
The truth about my relationship with my spouse is that is isn’t a relationship at all. We don’t “relate”at all. The relationship was built on trauma bonds and sahky foundation and its not built to last.
My child
The Truth about my relationship with my child is that it sucks. He doesn’t feel like we have a relationship. I should ask what he wants out of a relationship with me.
Friends
The truth about my relationship with my friends is that its more on the surface I suppose with a lot of them. I should improve these as well. Improve conntections with others. I’ve been doing it, but I need to do more.
Colleagues
The truth about my relationship with my colleagues is good enough. I work remote. I think I hold back with coworkers & with clients get too involved.
My clutter- it holds me back
I still struggle with blame/shame. understanding the predatory nature of the relationship.
The way that I am structuring my time is that it was awful. It is a current work in progress through. I’m really excited about the new changes I have made to my personal scheduling.
My disciplie-is that it sucks. I dont know. I monetly operate out of necessity/anxiety/fear/lack
I have to operate from abundance.
My Prioritization is again, a work in progress. Getting better.
I never really DID prioritize anything for myself.
The thing that has been difficult for tme to face is:
I gotta go. I just have to go away and put my head down and hustle.
The truth about what happened in my childhood is that it wasn’t my fault. It was wrong. I should have been protected. As much as I get by, there isn’t a moment that I’m not affected by it.
Or the childhood that I grew up in.
I am dependent on:
- a busy mind
- THC at the moment
- Caffeine
- computer
- processes
I mean, not a lot of shit.
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