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S is here, marathon. I remembered.. Am I gonna get the play by play every single time-unwell ones What if He is the bulldozer? He’s been triggering different parts of me, the inner teenager. I have to explore this more. I have to go deeper. I think that him being here might be a…
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What if I get them both? Both have trauma, both violent hx, drugs, jail-one more than the other, who seems to be more “evolved” in their healing journey. Watching for reactions -> He has said that me keeping my shit together is was important for him. I want to find ways to get him…
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Good morning! It’s about 5am, Thursday. I’m about to start unleashing hell on em. My settlement is going through for 20k, then 10k. I need a plan for this. I need to manufacture some energy for the next 3 months. So I need to do what helps me achieve mental clarity. That means eating…
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Okay Vegas is done. Now what? Well we have met a boy. He’s basically in active addiction attempting to moderate. I’m at the airport now. Many hours until my flight. So while I am here, I will select one thing to do. I can’t think straight. literally. Classes I’m doing: Automations to build-client onboarding
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I’m currently on a flight to Vegas. First time in Vegas. I’m shooting a wedding. She said “I love you and everything you stand for.” Like always, in a weird space. C is meeting me out there. I hope to get my mind together. I don’t have a good practice in place; there’s so…
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Sunday, Day One of the popoff. I slept in bed and woke up at 4:30 refreshed. I took a shower, finally. It could have/should have been a ritual. Here’s the divorce update: the pretrial conference is Thursday. He offered a lump sum of 21k. I asked for a lump sum of 30k which covers…
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Here we go! Conciliation is tomorrow. After that, it is on. The plagues are coming down. It’s go time. This journal will carry us through the rest of the year.
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Calling on the Devil Here is where we are in my healing journey. I’ve now worked backwards. Can I do this now? I had a thought to call him to help me save J. Is that me walking into the fire? I should talk to my therapist and ChatGPT. I need to start working…
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At the beach. It’s 4:30am. Dark and cold I woke up this morning feeling rested and a bit more focused. With a clear head and a plan to…. get my shit together. Kabbalah is tomorrow and we ascend. What’s that reggae song about the train? The train is coming bay bay That just popped…