JayBird

S is here, marathon. I remembered.. Am I gonna get the play by play every single time-unwell ones What if He is the bulldozer? He’s been triggering different parts of me, the inner teenager. I have to explore this more. I have to go deeper. I think that him being here might be a…

What if I get them both? Both have trauma, both violent hx, drugs, jail-one more than the other, who seems to be more “evolved” in their healing journey. Watching for reactions -> He has said that me keeping my shit together is was important for him. I want to find ways to get him…

Good morning! It’s about 5am, Thursday. I’m about to start unleashing hell on em. My settlement is going through for 20k, then 10k. I need a plan for this. I need to manufacture some energy for the next 3 months. So I need to do what helps me achieve mental clarity. That means eating…

Okay Vegas is done. Now what? Well we have met a boy. He’s basically in active addiction attempting to moderate. I’m at the airport now. Many hours until my flight. So while I am here, I will select one thing to do. I can’t think straight. literally. Classes I’m doing: Automations to build-client onboarding

I’m currently on a flight to Vegas. First time in Vegas. I’m shooting a wedding. She said “I love you and everything you stand for.” Like always, in a weird space. C is meeting me out there. I hope to get my mind together. I don’t have a good practice in place; there’s so…

Sunday, Day One of the popoff. I slept in bed and woke up at 4:30 refreshed. I took a shower, finally. It could have/should have been a ritual. Here’s the divorce update: the pretrial conference is Thursday. He offered a lump sum of 21k. I asked for a lump sum of 30k which covers…

Here we go! Conciliation is tomorrow. After that, it is on. The plagues are coming down. It’s go time. This journal will carry us through the rest of the year.

Yes, there is a path to healing in the pop off. HAH Jesus Christ.

Calling on the Devil Here is where we are in my healing journey. I’ve now worked backwards. Can I do this now? I had a thought to call him to help me save J. Is that me walking into the fire? I should talk to my therapist and ChatGPT. I need to start working…

At the beach. It’s 4:30am. Dark and cold I woke up this morning feeling rested and a bit more focused. With a clear head and a plan to…. get my shit together. Kabbalah is tomorrow and we ascend. What’s that reggae song about the train? The train is coming bay bay That just popped…