Well alrigh. Thanksgiving was interesting. No fights. DAddy actually came out and had dinner with everybody. Sat right next to me.
He pat me on the head. But it was more of a side head pat. That’s the first physical contact we’ve had in decades probably.
He said “You lost a lot of weight.”
Mommy probably told him to say it. Ja left early. I met Jak, he seems like a douche.
In terms of panning & life in general, I’m trapped in planning. I think I’m aware that I’ve been here too long. SO I’m setting my intentions for the week.
I start my new workout plan, and I’m going to use an old meal plan.
My goal period is Dec 1-March 22nd/April 30th
I have a backup transition month.
Budget planning for 2023-debt payoff
calendar appointments and scheduling
- self date nights
- social time
- events
- shows
- weekend/mo
- beach sunrise
- walking as therapy+meditation
Photography stuff
- website+booking
- art/sales gallery
- marketing
- education
- skills shoots
- portfolio shoots
Anyway, before I get distracted
Those are my intentions for the near future.
P is crazy. He scrolled and literaly liked every photo of me on social. I didn’t respond the way he wanted me to via text and he sent me some attention seeking, insecure response. Like boo no, we dont do insecure attachments here.
I’m still working to discover the lesson here.
This morning I was thinking that there’s no way at 20 I could be attracted to a healthy person. I have to explore that relationships more.
So much to do! I have a secondary to do list to prepare for the week. Off I go to do school work. ‘
Are you putting on your big girl pants?
“It is through inhibitions and refrainings on the lower planes that the dynamic energy of the highest plane is rendered available.”
My initial “lower self” response to just go and be in that feeling of what I THOUGHT was the answer.
This is why I’m confused. I have to talk to my therapist and my Spiritual Guide.
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